Camping

Yeah, it has been a while. I have little time to satisfy you and the rest of the interweb's obsession with me and my life. I did have some camping pictures I figured I would share. First and foremost, I am an indoor ferret. I cannot stress that enough. Even out camping I preferred to remain in the tent for most of the time. The goobery dog was all over the place most of the time. I maintained post in the tent to watch over the campsite and burrow through the sleeping bags. Would I do it all again? Stay tuned for next camping season to find out.

Incompetency: to suck at stuff

I have never been much of a health nut. I try to take care of myself but I mostly do what I want. As you can see by my sexy pictures I am doing alright. I went to my annual check up to get some more shots from the doc recently and I am appalled. What kind of people are they allowing to work on ferrets these days. Don't get me wrong, the nurses absolutley loved me. They all clamored to hold me, adore me, and show me off. They doctor however was a joke. He waltzes in there pretending to care (and not doing a very good job), and then gives me a shot. Now I'm no fan of needles but I can tolerate someone who does it quick and good. This guy stabs me in the neck and then because I squirmed a little dropped me on the table. WITH THE NEEDLE STILL IN MIND YOU. Then he pulls attitude because I hissed at him. You are darn right I hissed at him. He is incompetent. So we had some questions for him but he was too busy to pay enough attention. He would always be like "Oh, yeah, I guess that would be good..." What a dork. Needless to say we will be taking me and my beautiful presence elsewhere for our next check up.

I GOT A PUPPY!!!

So I got a puppy as an early Christmas present. Yeah, he is pretty cool but the responsibility is more than I expected. I have to train him and play with him. It is exhausting. I have to make sure I establish dominance at an early age. I like to mess with him a little like that.

I think he will be a good dog in the end but for now I really have to work on whipping him into shape.

"I cut you so bad, you wish... you wish I no cut you so bad"

I didn't want to do it but I had to. I have a right to defend myself as a ferret. So I wanted to take a knife out of the dishwasher so I could keep it to protect my stuff under the bed. For some reason that girl I live with would not back off. I took the knife under the bed and just when I thought it was safe to set it down... bam there she is not minding her own business. She went to take it from me so what other option did I have? I cut her. That's how I roll. She was throwing all of these "armed assault" charges at me but I have a feeling she won't dare mess with me.

Chillin like a Villian

Sometimes you just gotsta kick it. I usually like to hibernate in my remote locations around the house but this time I thought, "maybe I want to watch tv on the couch. I steal half the cable bill every month." (Just the actual paper bill, I'm not dumb enough to take on the actual liability.) I like action the most. I like to watch dumb criminals and see how much they lack my awesome skills. Oh, wait here comes the best part... Until next time.

Christmas Memories

I just got these pictures uploaded so I thought I would share some fond memories of my first Christmas. First things first...snow. Snow is great for burrowing...very cold but very fun. The next thing is the tree. The tree is great for giving that outdoorsy feel that I so long for. You can attack the branches, drink the pine fresh water, or even bask in the glow of the lights as you tear them off of the branches. Lastly and most importantly, the presents. They just put them under the tree. What kind of challenge is that? One thing that is important is to unwrap the presents early. Then by the time Christmas rolls around you can be completely indifferent to everything they put in front of you. Well, except the wrapping paper. I love a good crinkly paper. I got some tubes for Christmas and they were kewl. But the most important thing to remember is the life lessons that you learn from this most important holiday. Life is short so get all you can and...like I always say, "The greatest gift you can receive is the gift that you steal yourself."

Shh! Be vewy quiet... I hunting snaiws

Have you ever tried escargot? If so, then you have a little bit of culture in you. Good job. What the French restaurant didn't tell you was that this is the pansy way to eat them - all cooked and dead. I prefer to venture out and pick my own. That way you are sure to get the freshest and utmost quality snails around. I like to roll them over and then lick them. For some reason my leash hasn't let me get much past that so I haven't actually eaten one yet but my day shall come. Licking them is great. It makes you feel all psychedelic. It's snails that do that right? If you lick a snail you get a buzz?...